Uptown Girl (lispsugrl) wrote,
Uptown Girl

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One year ago....a day that defines

This entry will be about 9/11...so to anyone that does not want to read about it...you won't have to due to the fact you will have to click my read more link to read the rest

So here we are. One year later. I don't know how to describe how I feel. More or less like a terrible nightmare occurred last september 11th. I remember tht whole day like it was yesterday. I feel it is important for me to let out these feelings now because there are just so many emotions that took place that terrible terrible day. They always say there is a day to define each generation. Our parents remember where they were when JFK was shot and now we all will remember where we were when these terrible attrocities took place.

As for me on that Tuesday morning, I had an 8AM IST 331 class but we got early to work on group projects. My group decided since there wasn't much we could work on we'd go to the HUB to get some coffee and relax a bit. It was around 8:48 when I walked upstairs and noticed a rather large gathering around the big screen tv. Now it's a big screen tv...but no one else watched the news at that point except nerdy, information needy people like me. Headline news was on at that point and I noticed a building on fire. At first glance, I thought it was j ust a bad high rise fire...nbd...it happens. But then I asked someone else what had happened and they said that many people were confused...but the unconfirmed report was a plane had crashed into one of the twin towers! At that point I thought some moron on a small plane was in big trouble for this. Who would crash into a building? So I sat down on one of the seats right up front to watch. Suddenly, Headline News decided this was not worthy of news and cut away to continue programming...which was with some stupid story on Bill Clinton and Starr....go figure. At that point, a group of people went over and told the people at the desk to CHANGE IT TO CNN! So they were back and Aaron Brown was on the roof of CNN overlooking the towers ( I saw where CNN hq in NYC was this summer). So they are trying to figure out if it's a terrorist plot or accident when out of the corner of my eye I notice something flying near the other building...at that point I remember thinking "OH SHIT OH SHIT"...and "No please no"...and then the plane turned straight towards the second twin tower. When it hit, that's when you could hear a pin drop in the HUB. It was that silent. Eerie silent. I was supposed to be helping at the involvement fair but somehow that kinda was not on my mind. I remember pondering what was going on....why was this happening? Who would want to hurt innocent civilians? So there I sat watching these two buildings that define NYC's skyline burn...and watching what seemed to be a horror movie. Soon reports were coming in from everywhere. There was a mentioning of smoke coming from the Pentagon...then the Washington mall was on fire...another aircraft not identified yet. The federal aviation was closing down the skies..all planes to be grounded. It was damn damn scary. I did not know what to think...what was going on....we're we going to be ok? Then it was confirmed that the Pentagon was on fire. Then it was confirmed it had been hit by an aircraft as well...commercial aircraft! At that point I just wanted my mom to come tell me everything would be OK. This was absolutely horrific and not cool,...this is when mom is supposed to come give you a pat on the back and say it's ok. All was not OK. Chaos was errupting before my eyes. Hate and destruction. Death. Fear. Emotions flowing in the HUB. Suddenly as we were watching the latest...one of the towers just collapsed. It fell like a pancake. At this point I really had no clue of the implications of everything. It just was a blur. People running around. Worse news by the second. Then news of the plane that crashed in western PA. That is when people started to squirmish...it was only 1 hr 30 mins from state college! Then the second tower collapsed. At this point I started to lose it....as I started to comprehend the terrible things going on.

This picture from the collegian about a dejected student shows it all....
a dejected student

After seeing replays a few times and more interviews, I could not bear to sit there anymore alone without anyone to break down on. I found Jared who was closing up shop on the involvement fair. I came in bawling...and he asked me why I was crying so badly. I then got out the words...twin towers...gone. Pentagon...on fire. At that point I could see the fear in his face too...and he just hugged me....trying to give me assurance that we'll be OK. And that whomever did this, will not get away with it. Walking home from the HUB, it was like being in a world with no talking. You could see no smiles...no emotions...just people walking. Not a particular place to go...just walking. When I got home, Amy was pretty visibly upset as well. She told me how her mom was supposed to go on a plane and had bad vibes in the first place. She said that she had talked to her parents on the PHONE (never ever uses the phone)....and that my mom and dad had both called. I called them back immediately to check in and tell them that I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances. It just gave me reassurance hearing their voices. They said that my brother's friends were all OK and the one friend he has that worked in the Twin Towers had called out for the day due to illness! So Amy and I just sat on the couch watching tv...and praying it was over. That this nightmare was ending. I had to get ready for class...since I still had class that day though I definitely had no mind set for it. Class was depressing. Came home and crashed....got tastykakes from my aunt for my bday via UPS. THat kind of spooked me b/c I didn't know who was at the door! Finally we shut the tv off because we both couldn't take any more. I tried to study but it was like reading with eyes closed...doesn't work. So I just sat there....staring into space. Watched the President's speech...and still unsure of what was to happen now....

That day. Never ever again. So yes I am prouder than ever to be an American. Though many feel it's gone back to status quo, I feel that it is my duty to use all the rights and freedoms I have in being an American. I'm active in College Democrats. I've always been attached to the flag...and now it hangs in my apartment as a reminder of the freedoms we have. As for others, I can't speak for everyone but I hope that people have some kind of awareness of the fact that the world has changed. We must recognize that there are people out there that want to hurt innocent people....using religion as an "excuse". As for me, I don't see it as religion as an excuse...more of a power and jealousy thing. I live in the greatest country in the world and I am proud to say that. If you don't believe in that fact, then you don't have the full power of being an American. Do you vote every election? Do you have heated discussions over politics? Do you know people of all religions and races? Do you go out each day and do what you want to do? These are all things that form America. Call me too ra ra American...but this is my deep down belief. Yes there is crime out there...but what country doesn't have it? And I read that violent crimes continue to decline. This is still my country...United States of America. Don't lose sight of that....

As for my feelings towards terrorism. How to put this... People going after power using made up ideas as an excuse. I guess that's how I see it. How that justifies 3000 people dying because they went to work baffles me. Religion is never about death and destruction. Every religion is about peace and growing as a human society. And yes Islam too...there are a great many Islamic people around the world and unfortunately these few very hateful individuals ruin it for everyone. I really hate that...the fact that life is always about a few ruining it for all. However, I feel confident that we will defeat this evil. That the growth of all around the world will find a way to defeat this evil that call themselves Al-Qaida.

So here I sit...September 11,2002. On code orange....(rainbow colors for terrorist alerts...heh). My only wish: to wake up and go through the day tomorrow without any incident. I told my roommate....I hope she has the most boring 8am ever....that it bores her to tears. I said I apologized for making it that way but she completely agrees.
So to everyone:

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